Porn Watcher

Calvin, A blog reader, recently asked, "What do you think of these three straight porn men: Rocco Siffredi (this man was made to fuck. He's Italian with a huge cock), Mark Davis (handsome Englishman with a big dick) and Yves (I can't remember the rest of his name, but he's a Frenchman with a huge cock as well)? I seldom watch straight porn, but when I do the above names are my favorite right now. The latter two can be seen a lot in the Anabolic World Sex Tour DVD's and are totally hot because all the men have huge, uncut cocks (which I LOVE) and fuck and cum without any apologies about not wearing condoms and cumming everywhere and on anything."

Great question, Calvin. Rocco is one of my straight favorites as well. He's a nasty fuck, and he loves the fantasy of being abusive to women who obviously love him doing it. He isn't afraid to be aggressive and has a filthy mouth. He often makes these lovely young porn cuties suck his toes or (most often) lick his ass-hole. It's very hot. He's also got a tight muscular body, and a massive, hairy pubed cock. Just terrific.

After reading your post last night I jacked-off to one of my favorite Rocco Siffredi flicks Immortal from In-X-Cess Films. It's about a young woman who visits a chateau in France where she keeps either hallucinating or time-traveling to the 17th century. Rocco is there, needless to say, and the young woman watches him fuck and suck, never in a couple, but always in smallish groups. But the film also contains one of the best orgy sequences I've ever seen in a straight porn film. It's amazingly hot.

Although Rocco has done a number of plot driven adult films, he also has appeared in a ton of Euro-Gonzo porn flicks, often featuring his name in the title (he's one of the few straight male porn stars who's name can sell DVDs), where he and (usually) a couple other guys fuck several hot young women.

Mark Davis is a very different and frustrating case. When I first saw one of his videos, I thought he was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I couldn't believe his nasty mouth, spewing abuse with a sexy British accent, his muscularly defined body, a handsome face, and (since I usually prefer my guys cut) even his massive uncut man-hood. I thought he was one of the sexist cum-machines I'd ever come across. Lately however, he's returned to production in a number of gonzo fuck flicks, and he is a perfect example of one of the stars who just needs to retire. Now shaved bald, a gut developing, and his interest obviously fading, he just is no turn-on to me any longer.

I'm aware of a number of Yves' performing in European porn these days, and so I'm not sure which one you're referring to. Please email me a picture, because I'd love to know who you find such a turn-on.

So, that's my thoughts on these guys. What do you all think? I'd love to hear your opinions.

It's really kind of mind boggling how many porn flicks exist that either take place at Halloween or satirize main stream horror movies. Thrillers seem to be a genre easily adapted into adult entertainment. If you've seen any of these Hollywood scream-fests in the last few years, the reason porn producers plagiarize them becomes fairly obvious: Most horror movies are pretty sexy, or focus on sex, or even, on occasion, feature sex, usually between two (never more than two) hot early-twenty-somethings looking to get nasty.

So I suppose that explains why porn with a Christmas theme is so difficult to find. Sure, there is the European produced Horny Holidaze (that I mentioned in an earlier post), and I have a Dirk Yates jack-off flick, Men for All Seasons, where a guy strokes to a cum splattered chest beside a decorated tree on Christmas morning. But other than those two, I really can't think of another porn film that takes place during the Holidays.

Certainly it's tough to imagine a more romantic moment in life than making love under twinkling tree lights on Christmas Eve, but that activity just doesn't show up in whack flicks. First of all, porn doesn't deal with romance very often or very well. And traditional holiday films rarely have subplots dealing with sex, even in a sly or subtle way. Let's face it, when we're watching porn, the one thing we're really not looking for is warm, fuzzy (except in that sexy hairy way), and heart-warming family stories. With the success in the last few years of big budget Hollywood films like Bad Santa and Christmas with the Kranks maybe a year or so from now we'll be seeing adult DVDs based on that not-intended-for-the-kiddies kind of Christmas comedy. But I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that to happen.

There are several other types of porn than just video of course, but even that is devoid of hard-core holiday celebration. Occasionally you can find some photo sets with a Christmas theme (usually involving Santa -- or, rather, someone dressed -- or, rather undressed -- as Santa.) I run across these occasionally on adult websites, and they're usually fun and fairly jackable, but they aren't very easy to find. And there are only three or four of these series', and I keep running into the same sets over and over with nothing new, it seems, being produced.

So in the meantime, I hope you have a peaceful, restful, and porn filled holiday season. And if you know of any good Christmas porn, please let me know. I'd love to see it!

Tom Katt & Lover

The Amazing Zak Spears

Some Straight, Hairy Favorites

Rick Savage & Greg Derek with a Happy Girl

The Legendary Harry Reems & Sucker

John Seamen and a Cum Licker

Steve Drake and a Lucky Babe

Youngish Ron Jeremy and Buddy.

This is from a straight film. So, just what do you think is going on here, hum? But notice the pubes on Ron's friend. Fuzzy. And I like it.

Do you have porn tapes or DVDs you haven't watched in a couple years -- or even longer? I certainly do, and last night I pulled one out from the very bottom of the porn trunk. I haven't seen this film in at least three years, and even though it boasts a stellar cast of top rate straight porn stars, there's plenty of reasons I haven't wacked to it for a long time.

Titled Satin Dolls, the 1985 shot-on-video, almost plotless release is set in the fashion industry. Jerry Butler plays a promoter who fucks both older fashion icon mother (Cyndee Summers) and her younger daughter to make his way up the corporate ladder. Meanwhile, sexy photographer Steve Drake (one of my very favorite straight stars) is shooting a girl posing in a bubble-bath, and he ends up fucking her (as if you didn't see that one coming.) Billy Dee plays a blind musician who has a three-way with two women, turning out not to be blind at all. And Francois Papillon (another of my all time favorites) is a male stripper who gives the high hard one of a hot young woman. What these last two episodes have to do with the fashion world is anybody's guess. There is also an extended girl-on-girl scene (and frankly, I couldn't care less about those. I'm here for the hot guys, know what I mean?) Besides Summers, the film features Bunny Bleu, Gina Carrera, Debra Lynn and Andrea Brittain.

Now, the year this video was made (1985) is important. This is the period when porn was moving from being filmed on 35mm theatrical stock to shot on video production. It is also the period when production quality was deteriorating at a rapid pace. It was tough renting videos in those days because you never quite knew what you were taking home (just like at the bar); an excellent, highly jerkable, cinematic experience, or something thrown together over the course of a day and a half. True, the latter might have some hot scenes, but it wouldn't necessarily hold together as fine, memorable porn.

The stars appearing in the films didn't inform the quality either. It seems your A-list porn crowd would work for any producer who could write a pay-check, and popped back and forth from well made, high-budget work to sleazy, film-as-you-can videos. And although Satin Dolls has an outstanding cast, and a couple of really hot sequences (I mean, face it, I did buy the fucker at some point years ago), it looks and feels cheap. There are no out-doors establishing shots, everything is filmed in bedrooms, livingrooms, and a bathroom, and I'd say from the look of the place, all in the same house. Director Jack Remy, who's resume is long and prolific, tried to give us the feeling of group sex by intercutting two couples fucking separately, but it's obvious they are in entirely different locations. All the intercutting provides is distraction as we become more interested in one couple or the other.

The 1980s low-budget videos made during this transition from film almost universally contain an annoying cost-saving element that frankly drove me over the edge at the time, and, I discovered last night, still makes me crabby. They would edit a sex scene together, and then show the identical sequence over and over, sometimes three or four times. How stupid did they think we were? We notice that he grabs her tit just as she says, "Oh, yeah, that's how I like it." We notice that just as his cock slips out of her pussy the camera cuts to her face in ecstasy. We notice we've seen the identically edited sequence four times in a row. Why not just shoot a little more film, a few more angles, or even longer sections of the same angle? Cheap, that's all it is, and it somehow makes the viewer feel that way as well.

The other inescapable problem with this video is usually reliable Jerry Butler. When I first saw him years ago, I remember thinking he was so sexy. There aren't many better sex-performances than Butler's in Taboo III, Sex Spa USA, or Pandora's Mirror. In Satin Dolls he is young, ripped, hairy-chested and very handsome (although you'll want to avoid staring at the blonde streaked hair.) In this stud's autobiography Raw Talent he admits he beat a drug addiction during his porn career. I'm guessing this movie was filmed before he hit rehab, because in his two sex scenes, Jerry not only has trouble obtaining a hard-on, but he fucks harder and faster than a hummingbird. He never lets up, never slows down, never has a moment of tenderness, just pounds away, faster than I knew anyone could fuck. You're just waiting for the nose-bleed and giggling to start.

Let's just say Satin Dolls didn't get me off last night. After watching it, I had to switch to a different video to finish pulling one off. And I'll be honest, these days I don't avoid videos from the mid-eighties, but I am very careful before buying one. I check them out online, preview them and see how wackable they are before throwing down my hard-earned cash. I'm careful of being duped, it doesn't matter if all my favorite stars are in it (as many are in this one), and remember packaging means nothing. As mother always told us, "Let the buyer beware." Damn it, mother was always right.

This doesn't have anything to do with porn, exactly, but have you noticed how the newly released main-stream gay romance Bareback ... er ... Brokeback Mountain is being publicized? They're pushing it as a film for everyone, not just gay men, a romantic tragedy that's sure to be an Oscar contender. Okay, they aren't specifically trying to sell tickets to those of us who would prefer to sit home and jack-off to DVDs of hot, but fake "cowboys" having sex with each other. But the producers have to know we are their main audience, I mean just look at the casting. They couldn't have found two hunkier leads than Heath Ledger and the unbelievably handsome Jake Gyllenhaal. They could have cast guys, even stars, who look like the average cowboy, and no matter what your fantasies are whispering to you, we all know what most real cowboys look like, and it isn't Jake and Heath.

But also look at the photos the PR machine has released. And I mean, look closely. I've attached one below.

What caught your eye first? Heath or Jake's stunning faces? The cool old truck? The train whizzing by? Or was it Heath Ledger's basket! I mean, come on, have you ever seen the outline of a major star's cock that plainly in any publicity photo you've seen in the past? You can practically see every hair! Now, I like cut guys, so I suddenly have a new found interest in Heath, but come on.

It seems like a blatant subconscious (is that an oxymoron?) grasp at the gay porn loving audience. For all I know, his cock is air-brushed into the picture, but somehow I doubt it. I think the picture was set up that way specifically to market to a certain market, you and me.

So, yeah, I can't wait to see this movie.

I loath the Reality Show phenomenon. I have studiously avoided Real World, The Bachelor, The Biggest Loser, Fear Factor, The Apprentice, and even all of the Survivors. I'm just not very interested, and become confused and annoyed when at a cocktail party or hanging around the water-cooler people start discussing the events featured on these programs. I have no clue what they're talking about, and I'm mystified that intelligent, schooled folks are so involved in the politics and machinations of contestants that are obviously so desperate for attention they'll do almost anything.

So, you can imagine my astonishment when discovering this bizarre television debacle has encroached into the sacred world of porn. Jenna Jameson will be hosting a Reality Series on the Playboy Channel titled Jenna's American Sex Star. For more information look at http://www.playboy.com/playboytv/original_series/americansexstar/

Ms Jameson will serve as host, prompting in-studio judges Ron Jeremy, the world's most famous porn star, adult film queen Christy Canyon, and prolific adult director Jim Powers to winnow out the lesser girls so the home audience can vote on their favorites. The ultimate winner will receive a contract with one of the major porn studios.

All I can say is; Sweet Jesus! This is surely one of the signs of the apocalypse! What next, potential porn stars coming to my home and blowing me so I'll buy their DVDs? Well, now that I think about it, that's not such a bad idea. Does anyone know who I call to pitch a new Reality Show?

There are few truly outstanding video directors in the porn business today. It's hard to think of more capable directors than Jerry Douglass, Michael Ninn or Trevor Zinn. But one of the most consistently strokable of all the directors is Chi Chi LaRue. She has been doing terrific films for the past 15 years or so, and remains at the top of her field. She directs gay, bi, straight, lesbian and kink flicks, all with equal flair and obsession for detail. Some have complex plots, others are gonzo wall-to-wall fucking flicks. All of them make me hard and horny.

Yes, Chi Chi is a drag queen, and probably one of the most visible and recognizable working today in any industry. When she started directing porn, she worked under the monikor Taylor Hudson (Liz and Rock's last names combined.) Of course in those days, no studio wanted to be identified as the company who was producing films made by a drag queen. Somewhere along the way, fortunately, that changed. In fact, it probably changed because of Chi Chi. When videos are this good, and sell this well (because they're so good), any company would be thrilled to distribute them, no matter who was behind the product. And these days, having Chi Chi direct one of your films is considered quite a coupe. The studios now fall over each other to have her under contract.

Recently she has branched out somewhat, making personal appearances, hosting an amazingly hot porn website, as well as writing her autobiography, Making It Big, Sex Stars, Porn Films & Me. I read this book some years ago and loved it. It's packed with the kind of on-the-set gossip you really crave, as well as the details of what it's like to be on the shoot of a porn video. Just terrific, funny and informative.


But, no matter how successful she becomes in these other areas, it's the movies that will put her into the history books (that is, if porn had history books.) Some of her finest flicks include My Sister's Husband, Ass Lick Alley, the recent Kollide, and the unbelievably hot How The West Was Hung the come-back film of the unbeatably beatable Axel Garret (I've added a montage of pictures from that movie below.


I wish there were more directors with Chi Chi's passion and dedication. She is a pornographer who pushes the envelope, turning jack-off movies into an art form, films you want to watch to be entertained as well as aroused. Let's hope she keeps working for many years to come.