Porn Watcher

I don’t have any tattoos on any part of my body, and frankly, I don’t want any. There is no image I can think of -- no secret Chinese vowel, no animal I identify with, no skull with anything emerging from the eye socket, not even mom’s name -- that I can be sure I’m going to want to still have on my arm or chest or ass or leg forty years from now. Seriously. I don’t even want Porn Watcher inked into an entire arm sleeve. I can do without, thanks.

I also don’t find tattoos very attractive or sexy on other people. If someone has a small discreet tattoo on their ankle, that’s fine, but when I’m jacking-off to a porn flick and a guy (or more and more a woman) appears covered in ink, well, that's a complete turn-off for me. It’s hard to fantasize about someone, to put them into your own secret scenario, when they have the words Sara’s Bitch (or whatever) spelled across their lower back.

With that in mind, I was web-porning the other evening and came across these pictures of this guy. Look at him, a hot, hung guy, very whackable. Except for just one thing.





Now let’s think about this for just a moment. Tatting yourself is one thing -- but come on! -- There???? I mean, who would want to suck on that inked cock? And of course, you have to wonder what it must have been like to have the tattoo done. Did he have to be hard while the tat artist was working on it? If so, just how long did it take to have it done? Get it hard, prick the prick with the ink pen for a few seconds, softness occurs, get it hard again, another couple seconds of inking, softness. It must have taken weeks!

So, if you meet me for sex some time, don’t expect a lot of tats on your pal Axel. And I won’t expect any on you.